Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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