i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
