how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
operation have a gay friend backfired
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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