omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
