Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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