Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
