i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
