But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize