beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
