i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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