i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
