I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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