she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
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