So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
