yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
