Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
