Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize