Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
