he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
