You made me cry and you don't even care
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
