I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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