I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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