Little spoons don't ask big questions
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
