Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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