You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Randomize