You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
