I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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