This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
