3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
