lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
