Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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