Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
