you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
