i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
