i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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