Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Welp...herpes.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
