apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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