No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
