i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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