i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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