Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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