found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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