Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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