I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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