evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Randomize
