If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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