Can i not drive my cunt home
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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