so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
