the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
it's like iHOP with fire
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
