Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
