My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I want to be your penis for a week.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
