I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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